What’s the opposite of a maiden voyage?

To get across the country I’ll be using many modes of transportation, but mostly I’ll be driving my car.

My Ride

My car is a 1997 Ford Escort, cherry red. My dad helped me buy it used about 7 or 8 years ago. The back bumper is smashed from when a kid driving without a license rear-ended me on Whyte Ave, and I regularly have to wax my car seats with duct tape to get rid of the copious amounts of hair left by my main navigator.

Navigator — He won’t be coming with me on this trip, though.

Lemme answer some of what I imagine your comments and questions might be.

It’s gonna be long drive…

Yes. Yes it is. Getting across the country will be a long drive, but I drive a lot (and have done the YEG-YUL-YEG trip twice already). I’ve brought my car from, I don’t remember… 40,000? 80,000? when I bought it, to 245,500 km as of today.

I love driving. I come up with my best ideas while behind the wheel. I came up for the idea for this tour while behind the wheel. Imagine how many more ideas I’ll be able to come up with!

But how’s that car gonna hold up?

Yeah, okay, it’s old and scuffed and a little rusty. Sometimes the left speaker doesn’t work. But while I couldn’t care less about its exterior or accessories, I’ve taken decent care of the insides. There hasn’t been a single winter morning that it hasn’t started.

How’s my driving?

I am a very good driver. My only “big” accident was this one time when it rained in January and I accidentally drove my dad’s purple Ford Ranger off a little cliff and into a tree.

Believe it or not… drew this myself.

And I mean, what are the chances of that happening ever, right? Almost 0%? So being that I’ve maxed that out, I figure my chances of safe and happy road travels on this trip are pretty much 100%. Nothing to worry about.


In all seriousness though, while I know my car won’t last me forever, it’ll easily make it the through this trip (as will I). That said, the tour will probably be its (opposite of maiden voyage).

5 thoughts on “What’s the opposite of a maiden voyage?

  1. Pingback: Freehand Books | The Great Canadian Publishing Tour

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